Hair loss.

So, I went to Svenson to avail of the free consultation regarding my thinning and receding hairline. This has been my problem for more than two years now and it’s seriously affecting my confidence. I’m happy that I’m finally doing something to overcome this. But I was quoted more than Php50,000. Kaya ko pa ba talaga ‘to? 😞 Ang hirap maging mahirap. 😞

I know for a fact that I'm getting older but I'm just in my early 30s. Why does it have to be me?

Growing up, I was always that kid that easily gets bullied. I've had issues within me blaming myself for allowing to be bullied, for being so kind, so understanding, so forgiving, to the point that people were abusing me. I was so ashamed of myself for being so weak.

But I also believe that I'm not ugly. I just don't know how to work on my looks to make me attractive. I know that I'm weird and have an attitude which makes people's impression of me looks entirely negative.

I consider college my prime years. I was surrounded by people who influenced me with some good taste. I wasn't maporma but at least I wasn't as baduy as I was in my teenage years.

So, when my looks started to deteriorate because of hair loss, I was so afraid that I'd lose that small confidence that I've started to build. Why so sudden? I haven't fully enjoyed the benefits of having the good looks.

I'm working so hard trying to achieve my dreams. But along the process, I forgot to take care of myself. Now, I have to consider paying a hefty price just so I could redeem my lost crown.

Should I go for it? Kaya ko pa ba talaga dagdagan ang mga bayarin ko?

Lord,

Am I really trying to solve this problem? Or am I just complicating things again? It wasn't like an urgent need to look good. I've been wanting to bring back my prime days. Pero parang hopeless na. Now, that there's a chance, ang mahal mahal pa!

Should I go for this, Lord? Are you trying to test me again? If I'll give this up, will I be able to accept the reality that I'm going to get bald earlier than those of my batchmates?  If I give this a chance, will You provide me with more resources to pay for this?

Help me discern, Lord!

Amen!

Crazy Over Money

Last Thursday morning, just when I was about to leave, I got surprised to see that an MMDA ticket was on my car's windshield. It suddenly dawned on me that it was already past 8 in the morning and that the MMDA personnel who were doing their usual rounds already passed by our street. I know it was my fault but it did change my mood that day.

Fast forward today, I googled the corresponding penalties written in my MMDA ticket. There wasn't any amount indicated but there were codes associated with the supposed violations. Upon checking on their website, it totaled around P3,150. I was really surprised!

I don't know about other people but money could really turn me from being the happiest guy on earth to being the saddest. For me, that P3,150 could do a lot. It felt so disappointing. I'm blaming myself for waking up late that day.

I know that I could've just shrugged it off and move forward but I really can't help but overthink. I tend to compute the number of hours that I will be spending in my part-time job just to earn that much.

And just when I thought that things couldn't get worse, Metrobank, the only bank where I could pay the violations, said that they stopped accepting payments for MMDA tickets since December of last year. Now, I only have Bayad Center or SM Payment Center to pay the penalties but hopefully, they haven't stopped processing MMDA tickets too. What a day!

Lord,

I know I'm not perfect. Help me to properly process this negative emotion that all of a sudden gets into me whenever I encounter money problems. Help me be creative enough to channel this emotion to more meaningful ways. 

Amen.