Of Physical, Emotional Healings

I'm sick. I have cough, colds and flu. I can't barely stand without taking medicines. I've been lying on my bed for two straight days now. I am so unproductive.

I'm living away from my family for almost four months now. This is the first time that I got so sick to the point that I had to take a leave from work. This blog entry even took me hours before I could finish it.

I know I'm acting like a baby. When you're sick, the least thing you'd want is not being cared for. That's precisely what I'm getting now. I don't have anyone to take care of me. I have to take care of myself. I guess, as I put it in an FB status, "Independence is being able to take care of yourself when you're alone and sick."

I love being independent. I was so used to it that my past relationship did not work well because I just can't share a portion of my life with her. Or, I guess I'm not yet ready that time?

Still, despite the fact that I'm so used to being alone, I still need someone. To be my confidant, my best friend, my partner, I guess I'm being emotional again.

I can still remember that time when I was so sick. I was still in college then. I was also away from my parents. This person took care of me without me asking for it - cooked noodles for me and gave me medicines. Like today, I was also just lying in my bed the whole time I was sick but I never felt so alone, I was loved.

But, that was in the past. I can't go back and fixed whatever happened to our relationship just because I'm realizing now what I have lost. Actually, I've been living in regrets for many years now. And while I try to accept that things happen for a reason, it still haunts me in my dreams, and when I'm down and sick.

Bro. Bo Sanchez just shared this photo in Facebook. It's just appropriate to what this blog entry is all about. Healing.

I know that God's plan is greater than ours. I just have to trust Him with all these wounds. Soon, I'll be able to answer all my questions. Soon, I'll get healed from my past and from this sickness.

Jeremiah 17: 14 Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.

Our Lord is a Healer. He knows when we're hurt and in pain. He knows all our struggles. Best of all, He knows what all these pains are for.

Lord,

I know I have done so many bad things in the past and I still do even up to now. I deserve your punishment. I deserve this sickness, this pain. 

If this is Your will, help me Lord to overcome this. Give me enough strength to face each day. 

Strengthen my physical body so I could do all the things that you have entrusted me. 

Help me appreciate my present so I won't have to compare it with my past. 

Guide me to what my future would bring, Lord, so I won't have to live in regrets and just long for the brighter tomorrow.

Amen.